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Фенологические наблюдения и пр.
Ржака 
6th-May-2009 12:56 pm
The scene where the Istari are assigned their mission to Middle-earth is given in Unfinished Tales. Here is an excerpt from Quentin Tarantino's sadly abandoned script for the film adaptation:

(SCENE: A warehouse in downtown Valmar, ca 1000 Third Age. Manwë is standing in front of a blackboard with a plan of Middle-earth showing the spread of Sauron's empire. A gang of five Maiar dressed in black suit and tie, white shirts, are sat at desks, as if in a classroom.)

MANWË
You guys like to tell jokes and giggle and kid around, huh? Giggling like a bunch of young elf-girls in the schoolyard. Well, let me tell a joke. Five Maiar sitting in a dungeon in Barad-dûr, wondering how the hell they got there. "What did we do wrong?" "What should've we done?" "What didn't we do?" "Whatdabbada..." "It's your fault, my fault, his fault." All that crap. Finally someone's comes up with the idea - "Wait a minute. While we were planning this caper, all we did was sit around and tell stupid jokes." Got the message? Fellas, I don't mean to holler at you. When this caper's over, and I'm sure it's going to be a successful one, hell, we'll get down to Tol Eressëa, and I'll roar and laugh with all of you. You'll find me a different character down there. Right now it's a matter of business. With the exception of Nice-guy Aulë and myself, whom you already know, we're going to be using aliases on this job. Under no circumstances do I want any one of you to relate to each other by your true names, and I don't want any talk about yourself personally. That includes where you've been, the name of the Vala you follow, your special powers or anything. All I want you guys to talk about, if you have to, is what you're going to do in Middle-earth. That should do it. Here are your names... Mr. Brown, Mr. White, Mr. Grey, Mr. Blue and Mr. Blue.

MR. BLUE
Why're there two Mr. Blues? That could be confusing.

MANWË
Blue's my favorite colour. You got a problem with that?

MR. BLUE
No, not me.

MANWË
How 'bout you?

MR. BLUE
Well -

MANWË
Look, it's not like you guys will be getting any lines anyway.

MR. GREY
Why am I Mr. Grey?

MANWË
Because you're dull as hell, all right?

(Mr White laughs)

MR. GREY
Why can't we pick our own colours?

MANWË
No way, no way. Tried it once, it doesn't work. You get four guys all fighting over who's gonna be Mr. Black. But they don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down. No way, I pick. You're Mr. Grey. Be thankful you're not Mr. Yellow.

MR. BROWN
Yeah, but "Mr. Brown", that's a little too close to -

MR. GREY (interrupting)
Mr. Grey don't sound too good either. How about if I'm Mr. Purple? That sounds good to me. I'll be Mr. Purple.

MANWË
You're not Mr. Purple. Some guy on some other job is Mr. Purple. You're Mr. Grey.

MR. WHITE
Who cares what your name is?

MR. GREY
Yeah, that's easy for you to say. You're Mr. White. You have a cool sounding name. Alright look, if it's no big deal to be Mr. Grey, you wanna trade?

MR. WHITE
Never gonna happen, Mr. Grey.

MANWË
Hey, nobody's trading with anybody. This ain't some fuckin' entmoot, you know. Now listen up, Mr. Grey. There's two ways you can go on this job - my way or the highway. Now what's it going to be, Mr. Grey?

MR. GREY
Ok. Forget about it. It's beneath me. I'm Mr. Grey. Let's move on.

MANWË
I'll move on when I feel like it. All you guys got the message? I'm so mad hollering at you guys, I can hardly talk. Let's go to work.

(End scene)


© wilko185
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